I Bake Shit...

So somehow at my friend's graduation party, I offered to make cupcakes for another friend's graduation party. I wasn't sure if I had actually done that until I got a text from her two days later saying that her stepmom wanted me to do the cupcakes. And then I asked the question that would seal my fate: How many cupcakes do you need? She responds with something along the lines of "Well 75 people were invited." That's right folks 75 cupcakes. My main concern was not my tiny kitchen or my tiny oven that I can only do 1 dozen at a time in or decorating them in a cute fashion. No friends, my main concern was transporting them in my precious car. I have to get them from Long Beach to Upland. Which ain't like going around the corner. No it's like going 50 miles. But whatever I got that sorted out. Although I also, volunteered to make a cake for a potluck at work AND another one for a birthday party. Ahhh.... it sucks to bake well. Wait, no it doesn't.

Growing Up

My best friend, Bethany, graduated from college on Saturday and I couldn't be more proud of her for getting through it. Congratulations!

In which I ramble about my love...

So roughly 24 hours ago I was being blown away by the awesomeness that is Ben Folds live and in person. The man is pretty bad ass. It's no wonder that he's my favorite.

About 4 hours before that I was feeling very awesome to have a friend who is willing to let me park at her apartment and then drive me to the Palladium AND come pick me up afterward. Marisa rocks my socks. If you don't know her you are missing out!

I took this picture last month while I was in San Diego visiting my parents and little brother. We went to Balboa Park for a science fair (my brother LOVES science) and I had to have a seat since my stepmother told me I was walking like my dad. I have lower back problems and over the last three months if I stand still for too long my back will lock up and I have a hard time moving. It's pretty awful and no, I haven't done anything about it. Well, anyway I was sitting on a bench and the sun was right behind these palm trees.

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Speaking as someone who had a very recent and strangely uncomfortable run-in with her ex-dude, I can honestly say that it's better to at least have experienced the love. I think there is a lot that can be gained by giving someone your love and allowing that love to do what it needs to do. The love changes the person who experiences it. It sucks to lose it but the growth it can cause is priceless.

Conclusions

I was driving to work this morning and it occurred to me what my problem with most Republicans is. I feel like the majority of Republicans aren't willing to look forward. They aren't willing to accept the change that is surely coming. They resist and form this front of negativity. I don't fully understand why they are so hesitant to look at things from other view points. I can honestly say that I've looked at things from the other side. I've listened to people who don't agree with me. I don't always feel like I'm heard though. I'm not trying to make rash generalizations here. I'm simply stating the way I feel.

A friend of mine once told me that Bill Clinton scared her. I didn't understand that. Bill Clinton is not scary in my book. Sure he's a philanderer and then he lied about it. I don't think he really did much that was scary. He reformed some things that needed reforming. He was the great white hope of the 1990s. Scary, not so much.

I just wish that people had the ability to look past political affiliation and see that we all have a common goal: a better America; a better world.

Time

I'm doing something that I can honestly say I haven't done in years. I'm sitting in my room listening, really listening, to a CD that I just purchased. I know it's not very current of me to still be purchasing physical CDs but I really don't care. Sometimes you need something to hold on to. So the CD is Ben Folds Presents: University A Cappella! It's making me really happy.

I've had a lot on my mind since this weekend. Saturday was a really great day until I saw the person who broke my heart. The fact that he reacted as badly to this encounter as I did makes me feel better. I'm glad that it's not only hard for me. I didn't speak to him. It's not necessary. I have nothing to say to him. I've recently stopped feeling like I need to apologize for taking the entire thing that transpired between the two of us. I don't need anyone's judgment for my feelings. Yes, I took it too hard. No, I wasn't the least bit graceful. Yes, I could have handled it better. I didn't. I wasn't. I did what I could with the tools I had.

I have a habit of not relying on people when I'm going through things. I tend to hold things in and internalize them. I'm probably partly to blame that things all landed on my head. I'll accept that but I'll be damned if I'm going to absolve him.

What I've been up to

The picture above was taken around the corner from my apartment in Long Beach. That is corn. There is corn in Long Beach. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that one. Most people are find it quite as hilarious as I am. But seriously, corn?